facing facts

I read a tweet by Adam Myerson this past weekend, “Sometimes bike racing is like a future ex-wife. You do everything it asks, and it still kicks you in the nuts and makes you feel like s**t.”

That is how I feel after this weekend. Broken and mangled by something that I work hard to succeed at. Myerson’s update was published after he got dropped out of the Tour of the Battenkill, on a 40 degree and raining day. Which is weather not too unlike our crit on Saturday at USAFA except we only raced for an hour, not 5.

My crit lasted less than an hour though. With the freezing temps and not bringing any good rain-racing, warm clothes I was left cold and wet. The race started, I jumped hard to try and warm up in the first couple of laps. I chased down an early break on the long uphill and then I started to feel it. The pain, not coming from my hamstrings, but shooting down my IT band and across my knee. My fingers started going numb and amidst all the pain, I sat up, drifted out of the tail end of the race and quit. Normally, on a rainy day I’m more psyched than a 5^th grade girl at the American Girl store, but Saturday was not my day.

This knee pain started in January. 4 months ago in Tucson I started getting shoots of pain that wrap across the front of my knee and stop my pedaling all together. I had hoped that it would heel quickly and I wouldn’t be dealing with it very long. Well, 17 weeks have gone by since the pain started and its only mildly better than it was.

Now I’m in this hole, unable to see a way out. In the road race yesterday I felt awesome! I was on the front riding tempo on the false flats to the first climb and then chasing down the solo FLC rider with Dylan and Fuzzy, still feeling good. Then I missed a shift, gears skipped and my knee slipped. That was it. The pain shot through my knee and that was the end of my day. I soft pedaled to the car trying not to push it anymore than I had to and I quit again.

I have no one to blame, but myself. I should have taken more time off. I should have stretched 3 times a day. I shoulda woulda coulda. I don’t see myself racing anytime soon. Riding will consist of going so easy moms pulling both of their toddlers in a Burley will pass me. But I’ll come back stronger and smarter.